You Will Now All Serve Me

Mwa ha ha ha ha. I have kidnapped Xothyclton, and stolen his computer. I am now taking over his blog! In fact, I am taking over the world. You are now under my control! You will do everything I say. You will bring me slimy sardines. You will have gladiatorial combat for my enjoyment. You will remember the day you first heard the name of...drat, this keyboard doesn't have the right letters to write my name with. My name sounds like blowing your nose, but in a very scary and dignified way. Call me Gobbersnot. Is that a scary name on your planet?

I am now making new rules for your planet:

1. All porcupines will be put in cages.

2. The temperature may not get below 40 degrees.

3. Babies are no longer allowed to cry. It is an unpleasant sound.

4. All sports will be replaced with gladiatorial combat. All combatants will wear tutus.

5. No men may wear pink.

6. All humans will answer to "Hey stupid!" or "Inferior lifeforms."

7. Humans may not eat strawberries. You will give them all to me.

8. Rap music is banned.

9. Car keys and shoes are no longer allowed to be lost.

10. Anyone that breaks any of these rules will be feed to the HongerBeasts.

I will be a peaceful ruler, for the days I let you live on...

I'm back. This is Dragonmike. Sorry about him, but don't worry, I sent him away for a few centuries. Fortunately in caging me, he didn't realize that cars open from the inside.

Farewell, and may you not get kidnapped.

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