Scary Costumes

People seem to be buying a lot of costumes for Halloween. These costumes range from non scary things like zombies and ghosts, to really scary things like princesses and fairies. Princesses are expensive. Have you ever been on a date with one? They want the best gifts, to go to the best restaurants, and their security is intimidating. Fairies are even scarier, have you read mythology? They will kill you for fun, and that's the good fairies. Evil fairies will eat your life for fun. Zombies, even if they existed, could not harm anyone, because by the time they've reached you, they've decayed so mush that they could be killed with a stick; and a ghost can't harm anyone. The only thing you have to worry about is them telling people your secrets.

I will tell you some alternatives to your costumes that are more terrifying. Instead of going as a skeleton, go as a tax auditor--now that's scary. Instead of going as a witch, go as a doctor with bad hand writing. Nobody would be dumb enough to eat a poisoned apple, but they would take a miss prescribed drug. Instead of going as a vampire, go as a lawyer. They're basically the same thing, but it's legal to kill a vampire. Instead of going as a werewolf, go as a girl. They're are like werewolf's, except they're more likely to transform, and they transform into scarier things then wolves. If you don't think girls are scary, have you gone on a date with one?

Farewell, and may your costume scare the tax auditors and lawyers.