The Mathematics of Socks

Socks are a unusual invention. On my planet we don't have them, for we can walk through lava, hot coals, or a large pot of cheese fondue with our bear feet, not bare feet. Our feet look like bear's.

Humans have an obsessions with cleanliness. On my planet we just clean ourselves twice a week with a blowtorch. Humans have this strange ritual of feeding their clothing to a monster known as the washing machine. It appears to enjoy eating socks the most, and I find it peculiar that I can put ten pairs of socks in this monster's mouth and I get out sixteen unmatched socks and a frog. This poses some serious questions: Is this some multi-dimensional monster, or is it regurgitating yesterday's lunch? Does mathematics work the same way on this planet as on mine? Why doesn't it eat the shirts? I see why it doesn't eat the underwear. Most importantly, where did the frog come from? And why wasn't it a porcupine?

I've also found that socks are not intelligent. They can't tell if they are a left socks or a right socks. They never respond when I ask them. Perhaps they are just tricky creatures that can change color.

Earth has many unanswered questions. Where do car keys go? Why does the toilet eat feces? And why don't teachers tie their students to their chairs? 

Fare thee well. I will write again in a planetary rotation about my opinions of your movies.

Comments

  1. UnknownAugust 30, 2017 at 6:22 AM

    The frog came from the pants pocket of the twelve-year-old boy. I think I must have the same brand of washing machines, for I too put in ten pairs of socks and get out sixteen unmatched.

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