Demons with Bows

I thought little brothers were strange; then I discovered little sisters. Wielders of ribbons and nail polish, these beasts can prettify an unsuspecting victim in a matter of minutes; and it will not just be the boy, the toys will pay to. I have discovered that action figures don't look good in tutus, the remote-control cars don't look good in heart stickers, and I don't look good in nail polish. With little brothers, all toys fight: dinosaurs fight; soldiers fight; dragons fight; Barbies fight; and matchbox cars explode. Girls have dinosaurs have tea party's with the dragons, the soldiers go on dates with the Barbies, and the cars kiss.

I have recorded two children playing with toys. Guess who's the boy and who's the girl:

Number 1. Joe got in his car to go to work, completely unaware that this was the last day of his life. Halfway down the street, the newly discovered Maximosaurus ate him, car and all, in one bite. The earth's militaries saw this as a threat and organized an attack. The battle was epic, Cablam, vrom vrom, Boom, Stomp Stomp, ratatatatata, Chomp Burp! The world failed to stop it. Fortunately it ate an atomic bomb and died.

Number 2. "Oh Melody, would you go on a date with me?..." blah blah blah blah blah "...I love you!" *kiss* *kiss* *kiss* blah blah blah "Lets make cookies!" blah blah blah.

Farewell and may you never have your picture taken in a tutu.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Valentine's Day

There seems to be a strange tradition called Valentine's Day. The day that no matter how long you have loved someone, you have to prove your love by getting them something expensive and impractical; and if you don't get it right, the duration of which you're in the dog house can range from a week to forever! This is why I don't think that we should have Valentine's Day. I think we should have Pizza Day instead. Everyone likes pizza, and if they don't like it they should, so nobody should feel left out. Plus, pizza is much cheaper than jewelry or a dozen roses. There are many things that people find romantic. Here are some things that I find truly romantic: 1. Cleaning out the RazorFang cage together. If you can do that together, you can do anything together. 2. Chocolate dipped bacon. Girls like chocolate; boys like bacon. Serve with pizza. Now there's a romantic evening. 3. Go to Galor. Watch Bofalball all day, and drink Swampaid all night. What mor
Read more

Jokes

There seems to be a lot of debate with humans on why the chicken crossed the road. Some say he did it to get to the other side, to get away from Colonel Sanders, to show the possum it was possible, to get to the other slide, to give people something to talk about, because he could, because she saw what you did to her eggs, and because chickens are really stupid. I then learned that this  wasn't a philosophical debate, but was a joke. We do have jokes on my planet, but they are very different. I'm not even going to try to tell you a joke from my planet. You wont get them. Someone Told me, "People on a diet should go to the paint store. There you can get thinner." I didn't need to lose weight. I chose a very healthy form, but a friend of mine said that she wanted to lose weight. That's why I told her that. She just laughed at me. Apparently, that guy wasn't giving me information, but was telling a joke. I have found humans have various categories of joke
Read more

The Real Easter Bunny

I went out with the Easter bunny a few days ago. People have her all wrong, like how they think she's a boy. Why would a boy have eggs like that? She's an Angorian. It's a very interesting race that looks like a cross between a bunny and a person, but don't call them bunnies. They really don't like that. She bought chickens that lay colorful eggs from someone named Derek. He owns his own pet shop where you can design your pet. I asked him for a telepathic squid. He says he's still getting the Zoronean DNA, but he'll make it. There are many different races in the universe, and none of them look like ET. Star Wars and Star Trek get them all wrong too. There is one series that gets it right because it was written by an alien -- Eubos System, books one two and three. They tell you of beings that shoot lightning, that are connected to another dimension, those that shape-shift, the Damians who have a sixth sense, and other cool races that really exist. You rea
Read more