Halloween... An Excuse To Eat Candy

Today is a holiday know as Halloween. It seems that this holiday is about giving kids candy so they can annoy their parents and siblings. Kids often whine about the costumes they want, then whine about the costumes they get. The ninja soldier costume isn't as cool as they thought it would be, and the fairy princess costume is itchy. Then they go around the neighborhood begging for candy. By the time they eat their seventeenth candy bar, they've become little noisy holy terrors of doom and destruction, who will not go to bed on time. The holiday is really just an excuse to eat candy.

So, on Halloween you want to dress up as something scary, but not too scary; we wouldn't want to scare our little angels. Also give them lots of candy, but not too much candy; we wouldn't want to harm their teeth or make them sick. Halloween is about teaching you kids important lessons, like how to beg, how to be greedy, and how to eat yourself sick. I am considering going in my true form this Halloween, but last time I went as my true form at a costume party, everyone said "Aliens don't look like that." Obviously they have never been to another planet.

Farewell, and eat your kid's candy to make sure it's safe.

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