Cooking From Scratch Out of a Can

Earthlings don't seem to understand cooking. On my planet it doesn't count as cooking from scratch unless you grind the grains, pick the fruit, and hunt the meat. Many humans don't know that flour comes from wheat berries, haven't picked fruit, and think that meat comes from Styrofoam trays. I watched an earthling cook from scratch. Here's how it went:

1. Look up recipe on phone.

2. Go to store and buy a box of cake mix, some pizza sauce, and some pre-made bread dough.

3. Put all ingredients into a bowl and mix.

4. Put it in a microwave until burnt.

5. Realize that container was not microwave proof and put out fire.

6. Swear loudly and blame the manufacturer of the container.

7. Order a pizza.

8. Eat chocolate until pizza arrives.

Farewell and may the pizza man be a better cook than you.

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