Insults Part 2

Yesterday I spoke of insults, and today I will too. Unfortunately, many of the insults people use are not creative. Many people just resort to swearing. If people are going to insult people, they should at least not make themselves look as dumb as the person they are insulting. For example, instead of calling someone stupid, call him doltish, inane, vapid, obtuse, or puerile. Instead of calling someone fat, call him corpulent, ponderous, porcine, or paunchy. This has several advantages. First, it makes the caller sound smarter than swearing. Second, the person might not even realize that he has been insulted.

Personally, I enjoy Shakespearean and Medieval insults, so here are some insults you can use next time you run into a idiot and want to sound smarter than him:

1. Bobolyne: Fool.

2. Cumberworld: Useless.

3. Dalcop: Dull-head.

4. Dew-beater: Clumsy or awkward.

5. Dorbel: Nincompoop.

6. Fustilarian: Stubbornly wastes time on worthless things.

7. Gobermouch: Nosy.

8. Leasing-monger: Liar.

9. Loiter-sack: Lazy.

10. Muck-spout: Swearer.

11. Mumblecrust: Toothless begger.

12. Quisby: Lazy.

13. Raggabrash: Disorganized.

14. Rakefire: One who outstays his welcome.

15. Roiderbanks: Spends more money than they have.

Farewell, and may you never be called a stymphalist.

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