The English Language

The English language is a mutt, not to be confused with a dog. Dogs make much more sense. If you tell a dog to heel, it will either do it or not do it. English needs to find out if you're talking about heal or heel. Then there is their, or they're. Because over there, they're scratching their heads because there are two too many forms of to. Then there's, "I'll lead you to the lead," where two words that say different things are spelled the same way. I before e unless your foreign neighbor Keith receives eight counterfeit beige sleighs from feisty caffeinated weightlifters. Weird.

And then there's spelling. Why does pterodactyl start with P? Why do knife, know, and knight start with K, but candy doesn't? Maybe the person who made English did it to make lame puns. Whoever made spelling is gust mean.

Then there's grammar, which no one understands even thou it's taught in school. In fact, after they learn it, they throw it out the window. What about misplaced modifiers? Being big and scary, Sue was afraid of the monsters. Wasn't it the monster that was big and scary, not Sue? What it should be is, being big and scary, the monster was afraid of Sue. Wait, that doesn't make sense, but neither does English.

Good fortune upon you and may u b :) lol <3

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