Fairy tales

Earthlings parents like to protect their children's innocence by not telling them adult stories. Instead they tell their children fairy tales, with content like the heroine getting turned to sea foam, a witch who eats children, bad guys getting their eyes pecked out by birds, and a stepmother wanting to eat her stepdaughters heart. Is this normal? On my planet our favorite story to tell our children is "Fluffy the Bunny and the Fire Demon of Osceon". But since that story doesn't translate to human very well, I will try to construct my own fairy tale for your enjoyment.

Once upon a time their was a guy who liked a girl. Unfortunately the she was kidnapped by an Allareon air squid. Wait, you don't have those. How about a witch? I've met plenty of those here, but you seem to pronounce it differently. So the witch captured her with the power of YouTube. Then she forced the girl to work hard and clean the house seven times a day, hypnotizing her with more YouTube to keep her from leaving. Then with the help of the north wind (and Google) the hero found the witch's lair, and shut off the WiFi. Unfortunately before he could rescue the fair maiden, he got captured by a troll that wanted to marry him. With the spell broken, the fair maiden got three gifts from her fairy godmother: a pair of magic scissors, a golden apple, and a dress that shown like the stars. With the help of Pinterest she baked the apple into a pie and fed it to the evil troll which turned into a porcupine. Then she used the scissors to cut the bonds of her true love and got married in that dress. They all lived happily ever after, except for her evil step sister who turned into a tree. The End

Bye, and may you never cut off your own toes.

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