Sports: Fighting with rules

I have recently discovered that humans engage in an activity called sports, which seem to just be fights with rules. We have a sport, it's called running from a Gonderien fire beast. You really don't wan't to loose. Human sports seem to be games where you fight over a ball. I could understand fighting over a girl or a pizza, but a ball? Some professional athletes get millions of dollars a year to tackle people. I don't understand this, my brother tackles me all the time for free. I wouldn't think you'd have to pay them so much to do it. The rules seem to very from sport to sport. In lacrosse, they hit each other with sticks all the time; but in baseball you can't hit each other with a stick at all. The game would be more exciting if they did.

The fight extends beyond the arena. The fans yell, scream, curse, fuss, complain, and fight. Sometimes they even come to blows. On my planet we never hit each other. We do occasionally throw a porcupine, but no porcupines are injured in the process. Not all the fans fight. Some of them go to see how many hot dogs and how much candy they can eat. You'd think they'd have better things to do with the time, like watch the game. Maybe someday I'll teach people to play Hongerbeast-Hide it's a survival game we learn as children.

May the Hongerbeast never find you, and the Goorbirds never find your lunch.