Medicine

Do you suffer from a mild medical condition? If so, our medicine will relieve all symptoms of your disease. Side effects may include: worsening of the symptoms, death, turning into a zombie, or extreme levels of sarcasm. Don't take this if you're pregnant, nursing, operating large machinery, or intelligent.

This is what 90% of all medicine ads on this planet are like. I still don't understand them. If something is wrong, isn't the goal to get rid of the problem, not just the symptoms? It might be easy to swallow a pill, then go to the doctor to cure the side effects with another pill, then go to the doctor to cure the side effects of that drug with another pill, and keep doing that until you die. Although it could be worse, I once visited a planet where the cure to all diseases was to kill the host and everything in it, kind of like earths chemo, except they did it with an electric chair. On my planet we don't have medicine. We don't get sick, we eat right and exercise. It's hard, but an ounce of prevention is worth two tons of medication.

May you have the health of a Garderean warrior, and may your doctor be a stranger to you.

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