Tattoos

Some Earthlings seem to enjoy this practice called tattoos. This is where they permanently ink an image on their skin. It can be something pretty like a butterfly or a flower, or it can be something that a porcupine could draw. One of the big problems with tattoos is that over time your skin stretches, and with it the tattoo. Then that butterfly look like a Pterodactyl struck by lightning. If your going to get a tattoo, answer these simple questions:

1) Are you of a sound mind to put anything permanent on your body? Are you drunk, high, or under the influence of stupid friends?

2) Will this tattoo limit your career options to thug, tattoo artist, belly dancer, or prison inmate?

3) Will you still think that Fluffy the bunny, Butch the dog, a cracked skull, or your ex-girlfriend is cute in thirty years? Do you really want to see that every day for the rest of your life?

4)Will your tattoo still look good when you gain twenty pounds?

5) If there's any risk of you ever reproducing, will you feel comfortable explaining it to your kids?

6) If this involves words, is it spelled correctly?

7) If it is in a foreign language, are you certain of its translation?

8) Have you done adequate research to know it is not a gang symbol, Nazi symbol, or the mating symbol of a Gardarian slime beast? It's better to know before you get slimed.

9) Can I get the same emotional need filled with something less permanent, like a new outfit, a piece of jewelry, or a pizza? 

10) Is your tattoo going to be easily concealed, or will you have to wear long sleeves, long pants, and a bag over your head to hide it?

Think twice before getting a tattoo and may you never be made fun-of online because of it.