My planet

Earthlings have homes made of wood, or brick. My house is made of steel and reinforced concrete. If I tried to make my house out of wood or brick, even a Salyon could eat it. My house also has an orb on the roof. It makes a high frequency, designed to repel Askornons. They could eat the house in one bite. I also have a large courtyard; it's full of all my pets, livestock, and children. The children aren't mine. I just borrow them to eat the slugs. It's a great alternative to eating each other. Inside the house, there are lots of Slakmumor, very useful proto parasites. The interior of my house is lined in Sakalon fur. It keeps it warm in the winter, and very comfortable. Here are some suggestions if you ever come to my planet:

1. Always lick the doormat when you enter a home.

2. Don't feed the animals, the children, or the robots. They work better off oil and batteries than hot dogs.

3. Don't pet the children until they have eaten ten slugs (or two tickle spiders).

4. Always feed the shoulder dragon before you talk to it.

5. Always talk to the shoulder dragon, and be careful not to offend it.

6. Don't step on a spider. They explode

7. If there is a strange creature in someone's house, don't ask what kind of pet it is. It's probably someone's grandmother.

8. There are no bathrooms. Pee in the garden, but not on the lawn gnomes. They're alive, and will eat you.

Farewell, and if you go to my planet, may you not be eaten.

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