Boy Scouts, 101 Ways To Get Poison Ivy

In my visit to earth I've been able to live like a boy scout. Most boy scout meetings seem to go something like this: long boring speech, long boring speech, something interesting, long boring speech, refreshments. Scout leaders seem to think that the longer the speech, the more special it is, when the boys would rather skip to refreshments. Boy scouts go to scout camp, which is basically a place to buy merritt badges. Environmental science takes three months to complete on your own, but at scout camp it takes a week. You can also go on camp outs, and get poison ivy. They also try to make camp outs as elaborate as they can, then nothing happens.

I've found that 80% of all eagle projects are construction, and the other 20% involve hiking paths, or homeless shelters. Plus there's a chance that whatever you make will be torn down. The eagle project is usually considered the hardest part of becoming an eagle, but I say it's the paper work. The official purpose of scouts is to train young boys into men. But I think it's to get money, otherwise they would't make you pay $100 for a uniform. Now don't get me wrong, archery, shooting, and camping without the poison ivy are all a lot of fun.

Farewell, and may you not get poison ivy.

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