Conversations

Earthlings have a lot of conversations. Of course none of them are face to face. People seem to prefer having conversations with their thumbs, rather then their mouths. People like texting so much that they'll text someone in the same room. Because, why would someone turn his head 90 degrees, formulate sounds to make words, and make those words into sentences when he could just send a text? These seem to be the rules of social media:

1. Your self worth is determined by how many likes your latest selfie got.

2. If someone disagrees with you, the mature response is to insult them, unfriend them, and block them.

3. proper grammar syntax punctuation and speling r overrated

4. Profanity makes you sound sophisticated and intelligent.

5. Always mock those with different opinions.

6. Cat videos are divinely created, and must be shared.

Might I suggest some better rules:

1. Ignore all idiots, they're not worth your time.

2. If you wish to avoid controversy, don't post something inflammatory.

3. Remember that you can disagree with someone without insulting them, their family, and their cat.

4. Pretend you're an adult, and write like one.

5. Adding a 4 letter word does not make you sound smart, and additional superfluous flourishes make it look like you're trying too hard.

6. And cat videos... are still amazing!

Farewell, and may your latest selfie get a lot of likes.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Valentine's Day

There seems to be a strange tradition called Valentine's Day. The day that no matter how long you have loved someone, you have to prove your love by getting them something expensive and impractical; and if you don't get it right, the duration of which you're in the dog house can range from a week to forever! This is why I don't think that we should have Valentine's Day. I think we should have Pizza Day instead. Everyone likes pizza, and if they don't like it they should, so nobody should feel left out. Plus, pizza is much cheaper than jewelry or a dozen roses. There are many things that people find romantic. Here are some things that I find truly romantic: 1. Cleaning out the RazorFang cage together. If you can do that together, you can do anything together. 2. Chocolate dipped bacon. Girls like chocolate; boys like bacon. Serve with pizza. Now there's a romantic evening. 3. Go to Galor. Watch Bofalball all day, and drink Swampaid all night. What mor
Read more

Jokes

There seems to be a lot of debate with humans on why the chicken crossed the road. Some say he did it to get to the other side, to get away from Colonel Sanders, to show the possum it was possible, to get to the other slide, to give people something to talk about, because he could, because she saw what you did to her eggs, and because chickens are really stupid. I then learned that this  wasn't a philosophical debate, but was a joke. We do have jokes on my planet, but they are very different. I'm not even going to try to tell you a joke from my planet. You wont get them. Someone Told me, "People on a diet should go to the paint store. There you can get thinner." I didn't need to lose weight. I chose a very healthy form, but a friend of mine said that she wanted to lose weight. That's why I told her that. She just laughed at me. Apparently, that guy wasn't giving me information, but was telling a joke. I have found humans have various categories of joke
Read more

The Real Easter Bunny

I went out with the Easter bunny a few days ago. People have her all wrong, like how they think she's a boy. Why would a boy have eggs like that? She's an Angorian. It's a very interesting race that looks like a cross between a bunny and a person, but don't call them bunnies. They really don't like that. She bought chickens that lay colorful eggs from someone named Derek. He owns his own pet shop where you can design your pet. I asked him for a telepathic squid. He says he's still getting the Zoronean DNA, but he'll make it. There are many different races in the universe, and none of them look like ET. Star Wars and Star Trek get them all wrong too. There is one series that gets it right because it was written by an alien -- Eubos System, books one two and three. They tell you of beings that shoot lightning, that are connected to another dimension, those that shape-shift, the Damians who have a sixth sense, and other cool races that really exist. You rea
Read more