Excuses part 2

Yesterday I was talking about excuses, and I'm talking about them today. I've found that not telling the full truth isn't working all the time, like when I tell them that I was late because I had to feed my little sister. They don't understand why it took three hours. My planet's a long way away, and I had to kill the food first. Plus, my sister ate five TyrannoSlothist two MuleDeer and a slug. Since the lady in charge of the council didn't understand, I explained  to her. I got another encounter with the men in the white coats.

I heard that the truth will set you free, and I wanted to get out of the asylum, so I told them the truth. They laughed and asked if I had proof that I'm an alien, so I changed into my true form. There was a lot of screaming and panic, so I changed into my human form. Someone hit me with a tranquilizer. I woke up six hours later in a straight jacket. Did you know I can get out of one in three seconds or less? I got out of the asylum through the wall. They may have to do some repairs.

I have therefore made a list of excuses in case I need them. Feel free to use them, and tell me how they work out. I can't do that because...

1. The monkeys are eating crackers.

2. I have to water the puppies.

3. There are ninjas in the sewers.

4. The mailboxes are alive.

5. The dragons are playing golf.

6. There are Endermen in the city, and I'm the only one who can defeat them.

7. My brother's in a volcano.

8. Gotham city needs me.

9. My sister's a zombie.

10. I'm in the belly of a whale.

Farewell, and may you always be able to get out of a straight jacket.

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