Compliments

Yesterday I talked about insults, so today I'm talking about the opposite, compliments. Compliments can be confusing. For example, they can be misunderstood and thought to be insults, like when I told a friend that she smelled better than a Wongarrean Spraybug. They actually smell very good. I'm pretty sure she didn't know that, or she probably wouldn't have thrown the shoe at me. Compliments can also be taken as more than just compliments. For example, if you walk up to a stranger and say "Your pretty," she will think you're creepy. Creepy and nice apparently are the same thing.

Some compliments are very nice in some situations and not in others. For example, if someone ask you if she's pretty, you shouldn't say, "You have a beautiful smile." Women seem to like to throw shoes. "You have good posture," isn't the right answer either. Neither is, "You're more beautiful on the inside than on the outside." "I'm sure babies think your pretty," isn't the right answer either. Do you know getting hit with a high heel hurts?

There are also some things that sound like compliments, but really aren't. "You've really mastered the art of sarcasm well," will likely be met with a sarcastic response, not a positive one. "You're not lazy; the people around you are just very active," also doesn't get a good response. "You're cuter than a Poodle," isn't a good idea. Girls don't seem to like to be compared to dogs.

Farewell, and may you never have someone tell you he likes having you around because you make him look smart.