The Real Santa Clause

People think that Santa Clause is a fat guy that rides a magic sleigh pulled by 8 magic reindeer and jumps down chimneys to give kids presents. The truth is much easier to believe. The Plutonians are a colony of ice-dwelling creatures that came here from a planet that was destroyed by war, so the Plutonians are all pacifists. They are also extremely organized and efficient workers. The Plutonians used to visit every winter to enjoy the warm air. If you have ever seen a crazy person in swim trunks in the snow, that's a Plutonian. A certain Plutonian was friends with Saint Nick. In fact, if you ever heard of the legend of Saint Nicholas, you probably know that Saint Nick threw coins into the home of a woman who was about to get married, and it landed in her stocking. What you didn't know is that that they were Plutonians (the couple). They were so grateful, that they wanted to keep the legend alive forever, or at least for the next thousand or two years.

Santa, or Grograns as the Plutonians call him, isn't even upset about the whole Pluto not being a planet anymore. The other Plutonians are very upset, and would declare war on you and wipe you off the face of the planet if they weren't pacifists, but if you're ever in the neighborhood, stop by. Plutonians are weird that way. They would call for the extinction of humanity, then serve milk and cookies to the first human on their doorstep. And yes they like milk and cookies. Where do you think that legend came from? Santa's favorite cookie is strawberry coconut with a dash of cardamon.

Farewell, and may you get to eat your favorite type of cookie.

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