Children's toys

Earthlings seem to think that their children need lots of toys, and that those toys should be expensive. There are lots of different types of children's toys. There are the annoying and obnoxious toys, that make you want to claw your ears out because they're so loud and play the same song over and over and over again. We can only listen to Mary had a Little Lamb so many times. You can buy a really expensive toy for them, and they play with the box. You can also buy them a cheap toy that breaks in five minutes, or you can buy an expensive toy that breaks in five minutes.

Many toys now are made to sell products. You can buy a blue dress or a blue dress with Elsa on it for twice as much. You can buy a shirt for your son or a shirt with spider man on it for five times the price. Many children's books are just product placement, and so are many movies. Producers might as well call their children's movie "Buy Our Stuff."

Here are my best ideas on children's toys:

1. Get yourself something you like, and give the child the box.

2. Stuffed animals. They don't make noise, and they don't hurt when they hit their brother with them.

3. A ball.

4. A robot nanny. The child won't care, but you can sleep.

5. A porcupine. Need I say more?

Farewell, and may you never have to hear a child's toy say "There's a snake in my boot" five hundred times in a row.

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