Pointlanders

Earthlings think that they live on the only planet with the only intelligent life. That's so cute, and so laughable. But what they don't realize is that they hardly count as intelligent life. Most planets containing life have species that have far greater intelligence than humans. They're also less violent.

I don't get the deal of martians. Actually your closest neighbors are Plutonians, and they're mad that earthlings don't consider them a planet any more. That's why they stopped visiting, except for Santa Clause. He still comes around; he's weird.

I love visiting KX3 on my way to earth. The people there are very nice, as long as you bring them something to eat; otherwise they will eat you. I found this out the hard way, and almost lost a limb. But really they are absolutely delightful when they're full.

The people of Alceron are very intelligent, and very very good cooks. The only problem is that if you go there, they will feed you, a lot. Make sure that you go there hungry; in fact, go starving. 

There's also the Divelians. They like finding unintelligent life and convincing them they're deities. Don't let Loki fool you; he's actually a nice guy. But Zeus is really full of himself, and he sings off key. Aphrodite isn't nearly as flirtatious as I expected. Isis went on a date with me. She isn't really married to Osiris. Plus Osiris isn't really green, or dead.

But my favorite planet to visit is Galor. They have Bofalball and Swampaid. What more can you want?

Farewell, and may you travel the stars and not be eaten.

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