Creative Ways to Get Back at Your Ex

If my advice from yesterday didn't work, then here's advice on how to handle your break up. Too many people do cruel and illegal things to their ex's; such as vandalizing his(or her) car. So here are some things to do if you break up:

1. Give him a nice gift, like 40 pigs. Then his yard will smell as badly as he does.

2. Give him a dog that is trained to attack any time he says your name. He'll stop saying bad things about you quickly.

3. Send him a nice box of chocolate. Then after he finishes them,  tell him they were chocolate covered ants.

4. Sign him up for America's Got Talent, so he can show everyone how bad he is at it.

5. Send him some scented candles: eau de skunk, dirty diaper, and sweaty gym socks.

6. Instead of vandalizing his car, fill it with packing peanuts.

7. Send a letter to Pluto in his name saying he really want to join their society, and would they please come pick him up.

8. Put his name on all the single sites in the galaxy. The women from Skoleon will love him. Hopefully he doesn't mind that they're reptilian.

9. Send him a free vacation to my planet. Don't let him read my blogs first.

10. Invite him to a dinner on Stevon. Don't warn him that the people there are cannibalistic.

Farewell, and may revenge be sweeter than a Plutonian taco.

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