Greetings Earthlings!

I will be leaving this planet soon to explore other planets. My next stop will likely be Sorforon. It is a peaceful planet, inhabited by fluffy bunnies. It orbits a red dwarf star, one of the smallest types of stars. It also lives for a really long time. I can't wait to go to the Icy volcano. I hear the lake in the volcano is like a hot tub. I wouldn't suggest you go there. You might have problems with the extreme temperature changes. I might go to Alflor though. It's a moon orbiting a gas giant. It has very low gravity, and a thick atmosphere, so you can literally swim through the air. I highly recommend it as a vacation spot, although you might be crushed by the atmosphere. Another planet I might visit is Glasor. It is very similar to earth in the climate, but in the inhabitants, not so much. It's inhabited by monsters. I'm used to fighting monsters, you might get eaten. I hear the food is good though. I'm definitely going to Derek's planet and ...

I've been studying humor, and have learned much about it. Here are some of my findings. One type of humor is the element of surprise. This is when something happens, like you hear a pretty love song, then see it was meant for a dog; or you  hear a poem about a boy's dog, and then at the end it says that it's not his dog, but his little brother. There's also slapstick humor, when you have someone injured in a funny way. George of the Jungle running into trees is a very good example of that. Avengers knocking Norse gods off screen is also slapstick. Hyperbole is over statement, like when you say that it's so cold outside, there were polar bears wearing jackets; or like when you say that my blog is so good, it's read in four galaxies. That's not true; it's only three and a half. Understatement, is when you, well, understate something. One example is in RWBY, when Qrow has realized that he'd been poisoned, he says, "Well, that's unfortun...

There seems to be a lot of debate with humans on why the chicken crossed the road. Some say he did it to get to the other side, to get away from Colonel Sanders, to show the possum it was possible, to get to the other slide, to give people something to talk about, because he could, because she saw what you did to her eggs, and because chickens are really stupid. I then learned that this  wasn't a philosophical debate, but was a joke. We do have jokes on my planet, but they are very different. I'm not even going to try to tell you a joke from my planet. You wont get them. Someone Told me, "People on a diet should go to the paint store. There you can get thinner." I didn't need to lose weight. I chose a very healthy form, but a friend of mine said that she wanted to lose weight. That's why I told her that. She just laughed at me. Apparently, that guy wasn't giving me information, but was telling a joke. I have found humans have various categories of joke...

There seems to be a strange tradition called Valentine's Day. The day that no matter how long you have loved someone, you have to prove your love by getting them something expensive and impractical; and if you don't get it right, the duration of which you're in the dog house can range from a week to forever! This is why I don't think that we should have Valentine's Day. I think we should have Pizza Day instead. Everyone likes pizza, and if they don't like it they should, so nobody should feel left out. Plus, pizza is much cheaper than jewelry or a dozen roses. There are many things that people find romantic. Here are some things that I find truly romantic: 1. Cleaning out the RazorFang cage together. If you can do that together, you can do anything together. 2. Chocolate dipped bacon. Girls like chocolate; boys like bacon. Serve with pizza. Now there's a romantic evening. 3. Go to Galor. Watch Bofalball all day, and drink Swampaid all night. What mor...

I went out with the Easter bunny a few days ago. People have her all wrong, like how they think she's a boy. Why would a boy have eggs like that? She's an Angorian. It's a very interesting race that looks like a cross between a bunny and a person, but don't call them bunnies. They really don't like that. She bought chickens that lay colorful eggs from someone named Derek. He owns his own pet shop where you can design your pet. I asked him for a telepathic squid. He says he's still getting the Zoronean DNA, but he'll make it. There are many different races in the universe, and none of them look like ET. Star Wars and Star Trek get them all wrong too. There is one series that gets it right because it was written by an alien -- Eubos System, books one two and three. They tell you of beings that shoot lightning, that are connected to another dimension, those that shape-shift, the Damians who have a sixth sense, and other cool races that really exist. You rea...

Mark Twain once said, "I have been complimented many times and they always embarrass me; I always feel that they have not said enough." He was kidding of course, but he also made some very good quotes about compliments, like, "One should not pay a person a compliment and straightway follow it with a criticism . It is better to kiss him now and kick him a next week." It isn't a compliment if it is only to keep the person who complimented you from feeling bad when he insults you. Compliments are best standing alone, like another Mark Twain quote, "Do not offer a compliment and ask a favor at the same time. A compliment that is charged for is not valuable." Here is a list of compliments on my planet. Hopefully they work for you: 1. Your antennae look very straight today. 2. Your skin is looking nice and slimy. 3. I love how you almost died fighting that Glorthang, but didn't. 4. Your pudding taste better than SlitherWort dung. 5. You'r...